Are Work Romances Ever A Good Idea?
In work romances, it seems like for every happily ever after there's a nightmare. How do you know if yours will end with an engagement ring or a pink slip? That is exactly what we're going to dive into today. With this little test, you'll get a good idea if your work romance will lead to wedding bells - or awkward elevator run-ins. [bctt tweet="Are Work Romances Ever a Good Idea? Find Out if Yours Will Pass the Test!" username="les_naly"]
Are you BFFs or NSFW?
Before you go and risk your career, you'll want to figure out what your relationship is based on. Do you genuinely consider your love interest a good friend? Or are you more interested in exciting physical aspects? I don't think I have to tell you that a relationship with a really solid friend foundation will last a lot longer than one that's purely physical. Of course, you can have both sides to your relationship and both are 100% necessary. So take a real good look at your work romance. Would you ask them to pick you up when your car broke down or metaphorically lift you up when you're feeling sad? Ideally, you want someone in your life who you love to spend time with - in the bedroom and out. Make sure you have common interests that will keep you close even when the sparks aren't flying. Whether it be walking your dogs, listening to music, or watching documentaries you probably want to have something you enjoy doing together.
Are you falling back into old ways?
Work romances that play into your bad habits are probably not the best idea. Look at your past relationships and look deep into what they have in common. Were they all unfaithful? Were they jerks? Did they really care about you? Did you really care about them? So maybe they weren't the right person for you. That's cool. You just need to figure out why so you don't make that same mistake again - especially when the stakes are higher. Is this fling with your colleague or boss going to look exactly like your past relationships or is there something different there? If you've finally met that person that totally treats you right and helps you get over your bad ways, you might have something worth fighting for.
Do you have a backup plan?
Imagine for a second the worst case scenario. You lose your job. You don't get a recommendation. You're heartbroken. Chances are you'd recover just fine. But if you've spent a lot of time discovering your career purpose and have determined that you are in your dream job, you probably want to tread carefully. You might just want to have a backup plan in your mind. Where else could you work? What would you want to do? What would you have to do to get there? Make sure you're in a position to make a change if needed. Having a backup plan might actually make you feel better about embarking on work romances. If the worst case scenarios aren't so bad after all, you won't be afraid to fall (in love that is).
What do you value most?
We're going deep here. It's time to connect with your values. In all the areas of your life: love, career, health, friends, family, interests, etc where does your love life come in? Are you ready to go all in to marry the guy of your dreams? Or are you only looking for a fun guy to hang out with for a while? Can you deal with office gossip? Keep these values in mind as you make your decisions. They can act as a guide for what you decide with work romances and career decisions. Just be careful here. Balance is crucial, but it's also really complicated. Certain times in your life you'll spend more time on your career or more time on your family, but you need to be aware of when it's time to step back and do something different.
Have you talked about it?
I can sit here and give you advice all day, but it will be for nothing if you're not having a conversation with your partner. If your work romance is really the right person, they'll be open to hearing about your concerns and figuring out how to make things work. It may not be easy to date someone in the office, but it may be worth it. You just want to be pretty sure that it will be worth it. In serious relationships, you're going to have difficult conversations. It's hard work. But you and your partner have to be willing to have them if you're going to get over obstacles in your way. Be open, be vulnerable, share how you're really feeling. The only way you're going to get through this is together.
What do you think about work romances? Have you ever had one? Spill your truth in the comments below.